2004-08-18 - 8:00 p.m.
i look at her from afar.. like wat ive always been doing.. As i look, i felt my whole body shivering inside.. Be4 i let out a 'sigh'.. as i look at her long silky hair n her angel like beauty.. My chest feels an extrodinary feeling of stress n a crack can be heared from my shattering heart.. "How i wished... She was mine....."
exams over.. back to sch.. Got back some of my papers today.. me-rect-cu-less-ly i passed all of the paprs i got back today... even had some great grades... Sum topping my class.. Got a 43/60 for my compo n proposal.. TOp in class... for the 1st time i won wes n janice whu got 42 n naveen hu got 37.. Tt was cool.. den still got.. erm.. 31.5/50 for phy.... nt outstand... but still pass n my chem which i got 30/50 also top in class... pro.. i won those studying nerds beng kwang n all sial.. n almost mroe thn half failed chem.. as it was a pretty hard paper... n i got 30 =P..... wat else? hmmm.. ya guess tats all the result i got today... Sianx.. today sub all pass means all those failing subs will come tml.. bleah.. as i get the paper my results today.. i looked at it... n as usual the first person i wanted to tell.. was her... BUt she aint arnd to listen to me crap no more... =( haix..
even in my chem paper... i drew her name "yihan" cos tat time even during my exam time.. i was thinking bout her... couldnt stop... n even if i had the choice i wouldnt stop.. Miss her......
I saw her a few times today.. outside her clas walking here n there... i looked at her... felt so depress... duno why... hao xin ku... ai de bei shan... its weird that i. hiax nbm... wait....... waiting n waiting.. seriouslly i wont mind waiting for her.. really dun... for her i will.. cos shes worth it.... as long as she says... even if its 10,20,30....yrs i'll wait... even if its waiting till the day be4 i die.. i will wait as long as i spend that 1 day wif her.... bUt im afaird.... afraid of letting my feelings get deeper whihc in turn makes the cut even mroe painful... I dun mind waiting... but im scared that at the end of this waiting road lies nothing... n in this waiting process... my heart will be in living dead.. its painful.... i just want 2 be wif her....
I love her... i do... but mayb she heared these types of words so many times be4 she doesnt care anymore... shes heared it so much so many times be4 that her heart has chossen to close the dooor........ 7days ago.. i last talked to her.... till nw.... none... none at all... mayb i made it this way.. mayb i want it this way... cos mayb its really better off this way.. its been 7days since i tok to her n she seems fine.... perfectly fine... mayb even doing better... she;s fine... but im suffering here... whus there to bandage my wound... my wound... my broken heart........
he loves her deeply... a pity she dun feel the same... if only..... she liked him.. if only... he was good enuff... IF..but its nt that way....
